Why does anybody require a noise cancelling receiver?

 

We’ve all had a day where we’ve been jolted awake by the repetitive dirge of a jackhammer outside our house, you try to ignore it and go back to sleep, but, as Austin Powers might say “that train has sailed” .

 

The noise gets louder as you approach the window. You pull the curtains back and there, right in the middle of the road is a team of blokes in hardhats who have clearly been living on cold coffee and greasy food since about 4AM. They’ve kindly put up a yellow barrier, as you needed any more signs that the road was being demolished by a pneumatic drill.

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

As the jackhammer CHUGGAS away, you catch small sections of conversation, the men talk very loudly indeed, as people who have spent a career shouting over loud machinery are wont to do.

 

“So I said to him, ‘listen mate, if you think for one second that I’m gonna-‘

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

“Nah, I haven’t seen that one yet, but the second one was a massive pile of—“

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

At first you think it may be The Ghostbusters, re-enacting that hilarious scene from the 2nd movie, but no such luck exists I’m afraid.

 

Once you head outside and learn that its the whole street that’s being CHUGGA’D’, that series 2 episode of ‘Black Books’ doesn’t seem as funny as it used to.

 

If that story doesn’t strike a chord (or at least inspire a sympathy headache) then I’ll be a little more technical. Headsets could be either active or passive noise cancellers. Using this term, any headset is noise cancelling. The second type is a lot more high tech, and generates a field of white noise around your earphones, this acts as something of the sound vacuum and doesn’t allow any outside noise to get in at all (that is all well and good but it also means you can’t hear your girlfriend yelling at you since you’ve forgotten to pick up your lunch).

 

So, to return to our previous scene, the workmen are planning on being here a while. Ask the workmen what they’re doing, and they’ll say something like

 

“Yeah, busted gas main, you’re lucky we found it, usually because—“

 

CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGACHUGGA!

 

Soon, everyone will be asking you what they’re doing, listed here are some answers you can give that disguise the fact that you yourself have no idea whatsoever:

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s